Hey Millionaires: If you don't have trampoline floors and a giant slide that goes from your bed to a pool, then give me your money. You're wasting it...

Topics: Kids Quotes, Silly Quotes, Teenage Quotes

The walk of shame when you have to put something back in a store after...

The walk of shame when you have to put something back in a store after...

The best part of sleepovers are the deep conversations you have in the middle of...

The best part of sleepovers are the deep conversations you have in the middle of...

My mom told me to follow my dreams, so I took a nap.

My mom told me to follow my dreams, so I took a nap.

I don't like talking on the phone when my parents are listening. So uncomfortable.

I don't like talking on the phone when my parents are listening. So uncomfortable.

Waiting for your parents to be in a good mood before asking them for something.

Waiting for your parents to be in a good mood before asking them for something.

I defended him [John McCain] in those hearings when some stupid-ass right-wing idiot accused him...

I defended him [John McCain] in those hearings when some stupid-ass right-wing idiot accused him...

That awkward moment during a test and you don't know any of the answers, so...

That awkward moment during a test and you don't know any of the answers, so...

In 10 years, one of the hardest things kids will have to do, will be...

In 10 years, one of the hardest things kids will have to do, will be...

I don't care how many warnings I get, I am still going to eat raw...

I don't care how many warnings I get, I am still going to eat raw...

Because life is a gift, all of us are gifted.

Because life is a gift, all of us are gifted.

You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself....

You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself....

My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So...

My parents told me 'You watch too much TV and should try reading more!' So...

I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow...

I think that the best thing we can do for our children is to allow...

The awkward moment when your mom's doing the dishes, so you slowly put another one...

The awkward moment when your mom's doing the dishes, so you slowly put another one...

That amazing moment when a question on a test gives the answer on another question...

That amazing moment when a question on a test gives the answer on another question...

That awkward moment when you're at a sleepover and you're the first one to wake...

That awkward moment when you're at a sleepover and you're the first one to wake...

One reason we have children I think is to learn that parts of ourselves we...

One reason we have children I think is to learn that parts of ourselves we...

I am one boob, you are the other boob and together? We are breast friends.

I am one boob, you are the other boob and together? We are breast friends.

I named my hard drive 'That Ass' so once a month my computer asks me...

I named my hard drive 'That Ass' so once a month my computer asks me...

Anytime a bird takes a crap on my car, I eat an entire plate of...

Anytime a bird takes a crap on my car, I eat an entire plate of...

Teenage boys, goaded by their surging hormones run in packs like the primal horde. They...

Teenage boys, goaded by their surging hormones run in packs like the primal horde. They...