Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?

Quote by David Letterman

Topics: David Letterman Quotes

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

New York... when civilization falls apart, remember, we were way ahead of you.

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were...

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were...

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages....

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages....

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage...

President Bush has said that he does not need approval from the UN to wage...

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall...

Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you...

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has...

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has...

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him...

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him...

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...