Dick Cheney said he was running again. He said his health was fine, 'I've got a doctor with me 24 hours a day.' Yeah, that's always the sign of a man in good health, isn't it?

Quote by David Letterman

Topics: David Letterman Quotes

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The...

The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The...

A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a...

A lot of folks are still demanding more evidence before they actually consider Iraq a...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham...

Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham...

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what...

It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

We make a lot of fun at President Clinton's expense. But this transition is going...

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him...

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him...

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...

Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't...

There is no off position on the genius switch.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and...

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and...

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these...

The White House is giving George W. Bush intelligence briefings. You know, some of these...

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom...

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.

President Bush has been silent on Schwarzenegger. Of course, he can't pronounce Schwarzenegger.

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...

Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for...