The weather here is gorgeous. It's mild and feels like it's in the eighties. The hot dog vendors got confused because of the weather and thought it was spring, so they accidentally changed the hot dog water in their carts.

Quote by David Letterman

Topics: David Letterman Quotes

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

President Bush says he needs a month off to unwind. Unwind? When the hell does...

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Traffic signals in New York are just rough guidelines.

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck....

Number one: Don't frisk me. Don't hurt me physically. Don't get anywhere near my neck....

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show...

Congratulations are in order for Woody Allen - he and Soon Yi have a brand...

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you...

I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you...

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are...

Wherever we've travelled in this great land of ours, we've found that people everywhere are...

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or...

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

There's no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

There is no off position on the genius switch.

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages....

Yesterday Senator John Kerry changed his mind and now supports the ban on gay marriages....

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him...

No one knows if Saddam is still alive. They keep showing old footage of him...

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were...

The worst tempered people I have ever met were those who knew that they were...

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and...

We have defeated Saddam Hussein and Iraq. The good news is Iraq is ours, and...

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...

Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like...

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete...

People say New Yorkers can't get along. Not true. I saw two New Yorkers, complete...

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has...

We inadvertently bombed the Chinese Embassy. But Clinton now is working very hard. He has...

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have...

Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have...