Cleanliness becomes more important when godliness is unlikely.

Quote by P J O Rourke

Topics: Funny Quotes

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over...

Staying married may have long-term benefits. You can elicit much more sympathy from friends over...

With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's...

With Epcot Center the Disney corporation has accomplished something I didn't think possible in today's...

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle...

Making fun of born-again Christians is like hunting dairy cows with a high powered rifle...

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies,...

Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies,...

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But...

It's true that every time you hear a bell, an angel gets its wings. But...

Perhaps middle-age is, or should be, a period of shedding shells; the shell of ambition,...

Perhaps middle-age is, or should be, a period of shedding shells; the shell of ambition,...

In old age, one should do something monumental.

In old age, one should do something monumental.

Get the right people on the bus and in the right seat.

Get the right people on the bus and in the right seat.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

They say marriages are made in Heaven. But so is thunder and lightning.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

We are not limited by our old age; we are liberated by it.

We are not limited by our old age; we are liberated by it.

Im convinced that God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did...

Im convinced that God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did...

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he...

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he...

Andy: Look at our love fern! It's dead! Ben: No it's only sleeping.

Andy: Look at our love fern! It's dead! Ben: No it's only sleeping.

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to...

Look, if I'd wanted a lecture on the rights of man, I'd have gone to...

If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z,...

If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z,...

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to...

Women are like elephants to me: nice to look at, but I wouldn't want to...

Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.

Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.