As a teenager you are at the last stage in your life when you will be happy to hear that the phone is for you.

Quote by Fran Lebowitz

Topics: Funny Quotes, Teenage Quotes

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them...

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them...

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest...

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest...

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you...

You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you...

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat...

Children are the most desirable opponents at scrabble as they are both easy to beat...

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to...

Very few people possess true artistic ability. It is therefore both unseemly and unproductive to...

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

I must take issue with the term 'a mere child,' for it has been my...

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts...

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts...

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be...

If your sexual fantasies were truly of interest to others, they would no longer be...

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when...

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when...

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any...

There is no such thing as inner peace. There is only nervousness or death. Any...

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or...

I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or...

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as...

My desire to curtail undue freedom of speech extends only to such public areas as...

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Life is something to do when you can't get to sleep.

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house

Being offended is a natural consequence of leaving the house

The organization of American society is an interlocking system of semi-monopolies notoriously venal, an electorate...

The organization of American society is an interlocking system of semi-monopolies notoriously venal, an electorate...

I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic....

I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic....

Man is born to eat

Man is born to eat