If you're going to America, bring your own food.

Quote by Fran Lebowitz

Topics: America And Americans Quotes, Homosexuality Quotes, Influence Quotes

You're only as good as your last haircut.

You're only as good as your last haircut.

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact, barely presentable.

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

Never relinquish clothing to a hotel valet without first specifically telling him that you want...

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about...

Great people talk about ideas, average people talk about things, and small people talk about...

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like...

Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like...

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

Humility is no substitute for a good personality.

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest...

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest...

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not...

The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not...

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when...

Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when...

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he's buying.

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you...

I've done the calculation and your chances of winning the lottery are identical whether you...

I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent...

I place a high moral value on the way people behave. I find it repellent...

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts...

Romantic love is mental illness. But it's a pleasurable one. It's a drug. It distorts...

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,...

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,...

God made many puzzle pieces, but only those two 'cut out' for each other, can...

God made many puzzle pieces, but only those two 'cut out' for each other, can...

Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of...

Romantic love is an illusion. Most of us discover this truth at the end of...

It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.

It isn`t premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.