All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work.

Quote by Steve Martin

Topics: Funny Quotes, Work Quotes

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch...

I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch...

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order...

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order...

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The...

I handed in a script last year and the studio didn't change one word. The...

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught...

There is one thing I would break up over and that is if she caught...

I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can...

I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can...

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money...

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money...

I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church...

I believe in eight of the ten commandments; and I believe in going to church...

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only...

Hosting the Oscars is much like making love to a woman. It's something I only...

I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.

I've got to keep breathing. It'll be my worst business mistake if I don't.

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when...

When your hobbies get in the way of your work - that's OK; but when...

The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor...

The real joy is in constructing a sentence. But I see myself as an actor...

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither.

Well, excuuuuuse me!

Well, excuuuuuse me!

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke

Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order...

Chaos in the midst of chaos isn't funny, but chaos in the midst of order...

Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I...

Hosting the Oscars is like making love to a beautiful woman - it's something I...

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you...

I believe entertainment can aspire to be art, and can become art, but if you...

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

Comedy may be big business but it isn't pretty.

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all...

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies - all...

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might...

An apology? Bah! Disgusting! Cowardly! Beneath the dignity of any gentleman, however wrong he might...