Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Drinking Quotes, Humor Quotes, Life Quotes

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake...

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake...

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm...

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm...

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time,...

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time,...

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football...

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football...

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was...

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else...

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else...