Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have to read the manual and press the right button.

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Women Quotes

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

Don't eat me. I have a wife and kids. Eat them.

It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting...

It's hard to find a play that's right for me to do. Rather than waiting...

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm...

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm...

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in...

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in...

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else...

Sometimes the only way you can feel good about yourself is by making someone else...

It is better to watch things then to do them.

It is better to watch things then to do them.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...