Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: Funny Quotes, Single Quotes

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

A two-year old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a...

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top...

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing....

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing....

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final...

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I...

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!