Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: Funny Quotes, Single Quotes

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

The Four Levels of Comedy: Make your friends laugh, Make strangers laugh, Get paid to...

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top...

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don't have a top...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

The IRS! They're like the Mafia, they can take anything they want!

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men don't think there's a lot they...

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

I think it's funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

You've never seen death? Look in the mirror every day and you will see it...

You've never seen death? Look in the mirror every day and you will see it...

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.

Life isn't fair. It's just fairer than death, that's all.

We get into the habit of living before acquiring the habit of thinking. In that...

We get into the habit of living before acquiring the habit of thinking. In that...