Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Topics: Jerry Seinfeld Quotes

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little...

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing....

There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing....

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV.

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are...

Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are...

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little...

Well, birthdays are merely symbolic of how another year has gone by and how little...

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

To me, if life boils down to one thing, it's movement. To live is to...

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

My parents didn't want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty and that's the...

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace...

Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

I am so busy doing nothing... that the idea of doing anything - which as...

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

It's amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always...

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

According to most studies, people's number one fear is public speaking. Number two is death....

The purpose of medicine is to prevent significant disease, to decrease pain and to postpone...

The purpose of medicine is to prevent significant disease, to decrease pain and to postpone...

A fool who, after plain warning, persists in dosing himself with dangerous drugs should be...

A fool who, after plain warning, persists in dosing himself with dangerous drugs should be...

The Nightmare Life-in-Death was she, / Who thicks man's blood with cold.

The Nightmare Life-in-Death was she, / Who thicks man's blood with cold.