A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Love Quotes

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

I hope my tongue in prune juice smothers, If I belittle dogs and mothers.

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an...

A family is a unit composed not only of children but of men, women, an...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone...

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era...

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era...

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making...

I would live all my life in nonchalance and insouciance, Were it not for making...

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

The most exciting happiness is the happiness generated by forces beyond your control.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit...

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit...

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

I think remorse ought to stop biting the consciences that feed it.

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven...

Every New Year is the direct descendant, isn't it, of a long line of proven...

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it

Nobody agrees with anybody else anyhow, but adults conceal it and infants show it

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Parents were invented to make children happy by giving them something to ignore.

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

Hark to the whimper of the seagull. / He weeps because he's not an ea-gull....

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Life is not having been told that the man has just waxed the floor.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.

Children aren't happy with nothing to ignore, and that's what parents were created for.