A husband is a guy who tells you when you've got on too much lipstick and helps you with your girdle when your hips stick.

Quote by Ogden Nash

Topics: Love Quotes

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

They take the paper and they read the headlines, so they've heard of unemployment and...

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Professional men, they have no cares; whatever happens, they get theirs.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Progress might have been alright once, but it has gone on too long.

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

Do you think my mind is maturing late, or simply rotted early?

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

People who have what they want are fond of telling people who haven't what they...

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

Remorse is a violent dyspepsia of the mind.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

One man's remorse is another man's reminiscence.

When I look at you every aged phrase is new, and there are moments when...

When I look at you every aged phrase is new, and there are moments when...

Middle age ends and senescence begins, The day your descendants outnumber your friends.

Middle age ends and senescence begins, The day your descendants outnumber your friends.

Too clever is dumb.

Too clever is dumb.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the...

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

Some debts are fun when you are acquiring them, but none are fun when you...

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

Your hair may be brushed, but your mind's untidy. You've had about seven hours of...

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era...

I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era...

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

There are people who are very resourceful, at being remorseful, and who apparently feel that...

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive,...

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive,...

Can you imagine Simon as a kid? His imaginary friends probably never wanted to play...

Can you imagine Simon as a kid? His imaginary friends probably never wanted to play...