A book does not make bad jokes, drink too much or eat more than you can afford to pay for.

Quote by Kenneth Turan

Topics: Jokes Quotes

Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive...

Be not affronted at a joke. If one throw salt at thee, thou wilt receive...

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the...

There's an old saying - There's No Place Like Home. Well, I went in the...

For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies

For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the...

Our subconscious minds have no sense of humor, play no jokes and cannot tell the...

An ex-girlfriend from my past told me to see things from a girls point of...

An ex-girlfriend from my past told me to see things from a girls point of...

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

The best ideas come as jokes. Make your thinking as funny as possible.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so...

I made a killing in the stock market. My broker lost all my money, so...

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was....

I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman where the Self Help section was....

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?'...

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?'...

I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

I haven't taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at...

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at...

Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply...

Scottish-Americans tell you that if you want to identify tartans, it's easy - you simply...

Family jokes, through rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive

Family jokes, through rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

Family jokes, through rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

Family jokes, through rightly cursed by strangers, are the bond that keeps most families alive.

I had the best day ever, I ran into my ex girlfriend and her new...

I had the best day ever, I ran into my ex girlfriend and her new...