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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit...

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I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed-reading accident. I hit...

Sex is a sensation caused by temptation. A guy sticks his location in a girl's...

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Sex is a sensation caused by temptation. A guy sticks his location in a girl's...

Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

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Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree, in the eyes of children, they...

There is a reason it's called "Girls gone wild" and NOT "Women gone wild". When...

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There is a reason it's called

When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars.

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When life knocks you down, roll over, and look at the stars.

In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting...

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In love, somehow, a man’s heart is always either exceeding the speed limit, or getting...

A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

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A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.

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Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.

May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

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May the internet bring you comfort when your family goes insane this holiday season

Life isn't like a bowl of cherries, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What...

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Life isn't like a bowl of cherries, it's more like a jar of jalapenos. What...

A black cat crossing your path signifies..

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A black cat crossing your path signifies..

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be...

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be...

I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

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I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

Okay, we took off our clothes, I got on top of you.. How long 'til...

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Okay, we took off our clothes, I got on top of you.. How long 'til...

A big bear hug for you.

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A big bear hug for you.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal. but it gets boring so I go back to...

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Sometimes I pretend to be normal. but it gets boring so I go back to...

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

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Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.

If only you could guess how I hear your voice when others speak.

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If only you could guess how I hear your voice when others speak.

There can be no great accomplishment without risk

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There can be no great accomplishment without risk

Being a mother is the highest paid job in the world, since the payment is...

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Being a mother is the highest paid job in the world, since the payment is...

Gossip about a person and his shadow will appear

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Gossip about a person and his shadow will appear

Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard

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Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard