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I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

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I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...

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Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

There are some things you don't want to hear. Here's something I don't want to...

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There are some things you don't want to hear. Here's something I don't want to...

When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

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When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

I made me laugh

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I made me laugh

My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

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My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.

I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot

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I don't know who invented high heels, but all women owe him a lot

If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffe." "If you were my wife I'd...

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If you were my husband, I'd poison your coffe.

Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our heart, other people walk...

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Some people walk into our lives and leave footprints on our heart, other people walk...

I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

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I like nonsense it wakes up the brain cells

Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

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Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

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You must never underestimate the power of the eyebrow.

Is that Vicondin? Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me

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Is that Vicondin? Breath mint. Thought you were going to kiss me

There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

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There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

Falling in love is like being the frog disected in biology class. They open you...

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Falling in love is like being the frog disected in biology class. They open you...

Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of dissapointed love.

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Friendship is certainly the finest balm for the pangs of dissapointed love.

Men, in their 40's are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle; tricky, complicated...

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Men, in their 40's are like the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle; tricky, complicated...