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A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

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A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world . I know because I've...

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Giving up smoking is the easiest thing in the world . I know because I've...

A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

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A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

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I've got six kids. I'm not done. I'm going to keep having kids until I...

The advantage of being a freak is it makes you stronger

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The advantage of being a freak is it makes you stronger

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.

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Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.

Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

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Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living...

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Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living...

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

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You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

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It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I...

The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

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The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

Only 3 types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk and the angry.

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Only 3 types of people tell the truth: Kids, the drunk and the angry.

A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

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A husband is what is left of a lover, after the nerve has been extracted

When someone asks me to borrow a book, at first I'm happy they want to...

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When someone asks me to borrow a book, at first I'm happy they want to...

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

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Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you...

Women react differently a French woman who sees herself betrayed by her husband will kill...

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Women react differently a French woman who sees herself betrayed by her husband will kill...

The only reason Debra keeps me alive it to open jars and kill bugs.

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The only reason Debra keeps me alive it to open jars and kill bugs.

Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.

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Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.

We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.

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We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.