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Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy...

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Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy...

Love and time, those are the only two things in all the world and all...

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Love and time, those are the only two things in all the world and all...

Love and time those are the only two things in all the world and all...

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Love and time those are the only two things in all the world and all...

There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

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There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

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Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

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Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

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The only reason to wait a month for sex is if she's 17 years, 11...

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better...

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Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better...

A fool always finds one more fool to admire him

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A fool always finds one more fool to admire him

Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

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Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of'em are...

I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

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I want to breed a dog called 'SnickerDoodle'. I've got the 'oodle' part covered

The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

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The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

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It's funny how you can tell someone likes someone else, but you can't tell when...

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

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Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll...

I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

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I've found the key to happiness. Stay the hell away from assholes

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

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A woman will always cherish the memory of the man who wanted to marry her...

I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

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I'm at the age where I want two girls In case I fall asleep they...

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results

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Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results

Laughing at your own mistake can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s mistakes can...

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Laughing at your own mistake can lengthen your life. Laughing at your wife’s mistakes can...

In every girl's life there is a boy she'll never forget and a summer where...

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In every girl's life there is a boy she'll never forget and a summer where...