It's useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office.

It's useless to hold a person to anything they say when they are in love, drunk, or running for office.

Topics: Drunk Picture Quotes, Funny Picture Quotes, In love Picture Quotes

Ever looked at your ex and wondered. Was I drunk the entire relationship?

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Ever looked at your ex and wondered. Was I drunk the entire relationship?

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is...

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The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is...

Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

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Experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.

They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

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They love their hair because they're not smart enough to love something more interesting.

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

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Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...

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All right, you guys, just permit me one sentimental moment here. I have something to...

A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

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A lie is just a great story that someone ruined with the truth

The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that...

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The only time you should look in your neighbor's bowl is to make sure that...

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with...

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Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with...

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

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My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

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If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

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The simplest explanation is almost always somebody screwed up. Arrogance has to be earned. Anomalies...

The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men

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The lovely thing about being forty is that you can appreciate twenty-five-year-old men

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

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I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

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Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless,...

You have 200. 194. 305 friend requests. I knew this Facebook thing was a bad...

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You have 200. 194. 305 friend requests. I knew this Facebook thing was a bad...

The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

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The only 'B' word you should call a woman is 'beautiful' . Bitches love being...

Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...

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Twenty year olds fall in and out of love more often than they change their...

Yes, you have my heart

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Yes, you have my heart