Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Picture Quote by Phyllis Diller

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Topics: Funny Picture Quotes, Smile Picture Quotes

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

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Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

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Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

I rise at six and then I feed the chicks , And I'm feeling lonesome...

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I rise at six and then I feed the chicks , And I'm feeling lonesome...

There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

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There's three rules of cheating. It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married....

Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

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Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

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I've never been married, but I tell people I'm divorced so they won't think something's...

Stop thinking of fun and have it

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Stop thinking of fun and have it

After one look at this planet, any visitor from outer space would say I want...

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After one look at this planet, any visitor from outer space would say I want...

I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous. But have you seen...

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I really wanted to buy each of the kids something fabulous. But have you seen...

New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

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New Year's Day is every man's birthday.

Murphy's Law : Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

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Murphy's Law : Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself

Video games don't affect kids. If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd all be...

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Video games don't affect kids. If Pacman had affected us as kids, we'd all be...

Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die...

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Dr. Cameron: You want me to tell a man whose wife is about to die...

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get

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The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get

I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

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I played Santa Claus many times, if you don't believe it, check out the divorce...

Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, expensive or impossible

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Everything I like is either illegal, immoral, fattening, expensive or impossible

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep...

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I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep...

When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

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When my parents got divorced, there was a custody fight over me. No one showed...

The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

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The laziest man I ever met put popcorn in his pancakes so they would turn...

Itâ€™s true that sometimes love needs a little space. A smothering love isnâ€™t good for...

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Itâ€™s true that sometimes love needs a little space. A smothering love isnâ€™t good for...