Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Picture Quote by Phyllis Diller

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Topics: Anger Picture Quotes, Funny Picture Quotes, Sleep Picture Quotes

Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

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Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.

A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

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A smile is a curve that sets everything straight.

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.

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Why Trick or Treating is better than Sex? You can do the whole neighborhood.

Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels

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Sometimes the best part of my job is that my chair swivels

I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

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I'm not crazy, my mother had me tested.

Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results

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Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

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You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

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If you want to appear smarter, hang around someone stupider.

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

Friends joke with one another. Hey, you're poor. Hey, your momma's dead. That's what friends...

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Friends joke with one another. Hey, you're poor. Hey, your momma's dead. That's what friends...

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

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By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll be happy. if you...

Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.

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Today is Valentine's Day. Or, as men like to call it, Extortion day.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

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Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.

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What computer do you have? And please don't say a white one.

A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

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A well tailored suit is to women what lingerie is to men

A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she...

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A lot of guys think the larger a woman's breasts are, the less intelligent she...

My wife wanted me to take her somewhere expensive last night.

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My wife wanted me to take her somewhere expensive last night.

Sometimes I pretend to be normal. but it gets boring so I go back to...

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Sometimes I pretend to be normal. but it gets boring so I go back to...

Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...

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Always have a friend with you on Christmas... who can take you back home when...

The beginning of love comes with simple expressions a smile, a touch, or a conversation.

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The beginning of love comes with simple expressions a smile, a touch, or a conversation.