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What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for The answer to each...

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What is worth living for, and what is worth dying for The answer to each...

The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

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The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

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The PERFECT boyfriend doesn't DRINK, doesn't SMOKE, doesn't CHEAT and doesn't EXIST

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

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You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it,...

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You can never make the same mistake twice because the second time you make it,...

There are some things you don't want to hear. Here's something I don't want to...

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There are some things you don't want to hear. Here's something I don't want to...

Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

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Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

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Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

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There has got to be more to life than just be really, really ridiculously good...

Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

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Knowledge is knowing tomato is a fruit. Wisdom is not putting one in a fruit...

Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

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Housework can't kill you, but why take a chance?

You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum? Welcome to the Carribbean love.

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You spent three days lying on a beach drinking rum? Welcome to the Carribbean love.

What I think when someone uses the computer What the hell are you doing Why...

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What I think when someone uses the computer What the hell are you doing Why...

Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

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Age is something that doesn't matter unless you're a cheese.

Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied you can exchange it...

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Shopping is better than sex. At least if you're not satisfied you can exchange it...

Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

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Be happy in front of people who don't like you, 'It kills them'

Drink' till she's cute but stop before the wedding

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Drink' till she's cute but stop before the wedding

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks, a woman loses hers after...

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A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks, a woman loses hers after...

We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance

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We're fools whether we dance or not, so we might as well dance

Before sex, a man isn't thinking clearly and a woman is thinking clearly. After sex,...

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Before sex, a man isn't thinking clearly and a woman is thinking clearly. After sex,...

Don’t do drugs, don’t have unprotected sex, don’t be violent. Leave that to me.

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Don’t do drugs, don’t have unprotected sex, don’t be violent. Leave that to me.