Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step over your own mother just to get one! But you can't stop at one. You wanna drink another woman!

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Drink Quotes

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time,...

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time,...

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

If I were actually Homer Simpson, I'd be getting scripts out the wazoo.

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football...

I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football...

It is better to watch things then to do them.

It is better to watch things then to do them.

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in...

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in...

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

Well you know boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like women. You just have...

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake...

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake...

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.