I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well,…

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Parents Quotes

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

Good drink... good meat... good God, let's eat!

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

Television! Teacher, mother, secret lover.

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in...

I always enjoyed writing. I did playlets in high school, I did radio shows in...

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers....

All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers....

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan...

I often say, if I wasn't part of the show I'd be a huge fan...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Son, a woman is like a beer. They smell good, they look good, you'd step...

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake...

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake...

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

I've made a kind of pact with myself where I said, It doesn't matter what...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

It's the weirdest thing. When you go into acting, you expect to be a huge...

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm...

I won't sleep in the same bed with a woman who thinks I'm lazy! I'm...

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion....

After years of doing it, you learn the difference between your ego and your opinion....

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

The worse you are at thinking, the better you are at drinking.

The worse you are at thinking, the better you are at drinking.

A man cannot make him laugh; but that's no marvel; he drinks no wine

A man cannot make him laugh; but that's no marvel; he drinks no wine

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

I've come to the frightening conclusioin that I am the decisive element in the classroom....

I've come to the frightening conclusioin that I am the decisive element in the classroom....

When I consider life, 'tis all a cheat. Yet, fooled by hope, men favour the...

When I consider life, 'tis all a cheat. Yet, fooled by hope, men favour the...