I know what you're saying, Bart. When I was young, I wanted an electric football machine more than anything else in the world, and my parents bought it for me, and it was the happiest day of my life. Well,…

Quote by Dan Castellaneta

Topics: Parents Quotes

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake...

Now, son, you don't want to drink beer. That's for daddies and kids with fake...

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Go ahead and play the blues if it'll make you happy.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against...

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

It's a different way of getting across an emotion. You're trying to get it across...

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Oh, so they have internet on computers now!

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

Beer. Now there's a temporary solution.

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

It's the cushiest job, but some lines are so funny that I crack up.

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was...

One of my favorite episodes was the one in which Homer grew hair. That was...

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life's problems.

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

Press the any key ... hmmm where's the any key?

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

I think that most people don't even know that I do other things. They think...

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time,...

The humor is essentially dark for a cartoon and sophisticated. But at the same time,...

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

Don't you ever, EVER talk that way about television.

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

English - Who needs that? I'm never going to England!

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain

Humor is by far the most significant activity of the human brain

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

If I had no sense of humor, I would long ago have committed suicide.

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.