A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back!

Quote by Jerry Dennis

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

All good things must come to an end, but all bad things can continue forever.

All good things must come to an end, but all bad things can continue forever.

The awful daring of a moment's surrender which an age of prudence can never retract.

The awful daring of a moment's surrender which an age of prudence can never retract.

Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit...

Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very accurate. The bombs are guaranteed to always hit...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep...

Youth, large, lusty, loving - Youth, full of grace, force, fascination. Do you know that...

Youth, large, lusty, loving - Youth, full of grace, force, fascination. Do you know that...

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

Electricity is really just organized lightning.

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

O Lord, help me to be pure, but not yet.

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

I used to have Mad Cow's disease, but I'm alright Nooooooooow.

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some...

My school days were the happiest days of my life; which should give you some...

Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.

Men are liars. We lie about lying if we have to.

Age is a matter of feeling, not of years.

Age is a matter of feeling, not of years.

This is the curse of our age, that even the strangest aberrations are no cure...

This is the curse of our age, that even the strangest aberrations are no cure...

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Alcohol may be man's worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.

Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles,...

Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles,...

If I told you Ive worked hard to get where Im at, Id be lying,...

If I told you Ive worked hard to get where Im at, Id be lying,...

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

Democracy is being allowed to vote for the candidate you dislike least.

I have been a believer in the magic of language since, at a very early...

I have been a believer in the magic of language since, at a very early...

The veracity which increases with old age is not far from folly.

The veracity which increases with old age is not far from folly.

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...

Yeah, I know I'm ugly...I said to a bartender, 'Make me a zombie.' He said...

So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I...

So I said, 'Where do you want to go for your anniversary?' She said: 'I...