A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China. He's out there now...trying to win a trip back!

Quote by Jerry Dennis

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.

Whenever you want to marry someone, go have lunch with his ex-wife.

For age is opportunity no less than youth itself, though in another dress, and as...

For age is opportunity no less than youth itself, though in another dress, and as...

Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that called Body is a portion...

Man has no Body distinct from his Soul; for that called Body is a portion...

To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and...

To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and...

I've risen from the dead. Though sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I...

I've risen from the dead. Though sometimes, when I wake up in the morning, I...

Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles,...

Listen to the mustn'ts, child. Listen to the don'ts. Listen to the shouldn'ts, the impossibles,...

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the...

If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the...

There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had plenty of them.

There comes a time in every man's life, and I've had plenty of them.

During a test when the teacher passes by, you cover your answers with your hand...

During a test when the teacher passes by, you cover your answers with your hand...

I have learned from an early age to abjured the use of meat, and the...

I have learned from an early age to abjured the use of meat, and the...

Never floss with a stranger.

Never floss with a stranger.

It's scary that 50% of all marriages end in divorce...it's even scarier that the other...

It's scary that 50% of all marriages end in divorce...it's even scarier that the other...

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days...

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the...

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Too bad that all the people who know how to run the country are busy...

Five-second fuses only last three seconds.

Five-second fuses only last three seconds.

Doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the meat in his youth that he...

Doth not the appetite alter? A man loves the meat in his youth that he...

So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said...

So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said...

So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller',...

So I rang up British Telecom, I said 'I want to report a nuisance caller',...