Britain has invented a new missile. It's called the civil servant - it doesn't work and it can't be fired.

Quote by Walter Walker

Topics: Funny Quotes, Government Quotes

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's...

The easiest job in the world has to be coroner. Surgery on dead people. What's...

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried...

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried...

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it's always your choice.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

I think serial monogamy says it all.

I think serial monogamy says it all.

We ourselves of the present age, chose our common law, and consented to the most...

We ourselves of the present age, chose our common law, and consented to the most...

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old.

When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old.

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck...

A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck...

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having...

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having...

One's age should be tranquil, as childhood should be playful. Hard work at either extremity...

One's age should be tranquil, as childhood should be playful. Hard work at either extremity...

Whenever the talk turns to age, I say I am 49 plus VAT.

Whenever the talk turns to age, I say I am 49 plus VAT.

The Constitution of the United States is not a mere lawyers' document: it is a...

The Constitution of the United States is not a mere lawyers' document: it is a...

As winter strips the leaves from around us, so that we may see the distant...

As winter strips the leaves from around us, so that we may see the distant...

Me fail english? Thats unpossible.

Me fail english? Thats unpossible.

Wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

Wasn't planning on going for a run today, but those cops came out of nowhere.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Never wear anything that panics the cat.

Freedom itself was attacked this morning by a faceless coward, and freedom will be defended.

Freedom itself was attacked this morning by a faceless coward, and freedom will be defended.

A government for the people must depend for its success on the intelligence, the morality,...

A government for the people must depend for its success on the intelligence, the morality,...