A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

Quote by Jack Benny

Topics: Children Quotes, Funny Quotes

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Modesty is my best quality

Modesty is my best quality

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

Gags die, humor doesn't

Gags die, humor doesn't

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

Gags die, humor doesn't.

Gags die, humor doesn't.

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't...

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't...

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have...

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have...

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Modesty is my best quality.

Modesty is my best quality.