A scout troop consists of twelve little kids dressed like schmucks following a big schmuck dressed like a kid.

Quote by Jack Benny

Topics: Children Quotes, Funny Quotes

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't...

Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't...

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early.

Gags die, humor doesn't.

Gags die, humor doesn't.

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have...

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have...

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

Gags die, humor doesn't

Gags die, humor doesn't

Modesty is my best quality.

Modesty is my best quality.

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Modesty is my best quality

Modesty is my best quality

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...

Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the...