Homer, lighten up. You're making 'Happy Hour' bitterly ironic.

Quote by Marge Simpson

Topics: Funny Quotes, Happiness Quotes

Wow, three pairs of shoes! Someone had a fetish.

Wow, three pairs of shoes! Someone had a fetish.

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy...

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy...

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

My education was dismal. I went to a series of schools for mentally disturbed teachers.

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go...

I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go...

Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old.

Everybody wants to live forever, but nobody wants to grow old.

He who laughs, lasts.

He who laughs, lasts.

Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

Education is what remains when one has forgotten everything he learned in school.

Every age needs men who will redeem the time by living with a vision of...

Every age needs men who will redeem the time by living with a vision of...

I dont fear death, but I sure dont like those three-footers for par.

I dont fear death, but I sure dont like those three-footers for par.

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

Television is to news what bumper stickers are to philosophy.

When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be...

When your bank account is so overdrawn that it is positively photographic, steps must be...

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the...

Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the...

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way...

Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way...

Old age is not a disease - it is strength and survivorship, triumph over all...

Old age is not a disease - it is strength and survivorship, triumph over all...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's...

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

And it is not our part here to take thought only for a season, or...

And it is not our part here to take thought only for a season, or...

In this age, which believes that there is a short cut to everything, the greatest...

In this age, which believes that there is a short cut to everything, the greatest...

When youre up to your armpits in alligators, its hard to remember to drain the...

When youre up to your armpits in alligators, its hard to remember to drain the...

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those...

Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those...