A book does not make bad jokes, drink too much or eat more than you can afford to pay for.

Quote by Kenneth Turan

Topics: Jokes Quotes

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser...

So he said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser...

A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China....

A guy at work went in for a competition and won a trip to China....

X-rays will prove to be a hoax

X-rays will prove to be a hoax

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

I think of myself as a comedian who has the pleasure of writing jokes about...

My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She...

My wife was fitted with a coil. For about 18 months I hated it! She...

For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies.

For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies.

So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said...

So I went to the dentist. He said Say Aaah. I said Why? He said...

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it...

I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it...

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

The trouble with practical jokes is that very often they get elected.

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her...

A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her...

3 blonds were driving to Disney World: The sign said 'Disney World Left,' so they...

3 blonds were driving to Disney World: The sign said 'Disney World Left,' so they...

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?'...

I went into a French restaraunt and asked the waiter, 'Have you got frog's legs?'...

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at...

The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at...

Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It...

Those prizes in Cracker Jacks are a joke. I once got a magnifying glass. It...

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke...

Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke...

For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies

For every ten jokes, thou hast got a hundred enemies

I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on...

I was doing some decorating, so I got out my step-ladder. I don't get on...