The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.

Quote by Sam Ewing

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is...

We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is...

When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old...

When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old...

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.

Success has a simple formula: do your best, and people may like it.

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and...

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to...

In many instances, marriage vows would be more accurate if the phrase were changed to...

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk...

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk...

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown...

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown...

On the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions who, at the dawn...

On the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions who, at the dawn...

Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.

Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night....

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night....

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old...

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old...