The fastest way to meet new people is to pick up somebody else's change at a cocktail bar.

Quote by Sam Ewing

Topics: Funny Quotes, Jokes Quotes

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old...

When you finally go back to your old hometown, you find it wasn't the old...

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk...

Computers will never take the place of books. You can't stand on a floppy disk...

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up...

Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves, some turn up...

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown...

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.

Nothing is so embarrassing as watching someone do something that you said couldn't be done.

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night....

A man commented to his lunch companion: My wife had a funny dream last night....

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Nothing is as frustrating as arguing with someone who knows what he's talking about.

Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.

Parents who wonder where the younger generation is going should remember where it came from.

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and...

The government deficit is the difference between the amount of money the government spends and...

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

The average tourist wants to go to places where there are no tourists.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

Nobody ever asks a father how he manages to combine marriage and a career.

On the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions who, at the dawn...

On the plains of hesitation bleach the bones of countless millions who, at the dawn...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get...

We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is...

We are all born into the world with nothing. Everything we acquire after that is...

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old...

When you finally go back to your old home, you find it wasn't the old...