I washed a sock. Then I put it in the dryer. When I took it out, it was gone.

Quote by Rod Schmidt

Topics: Jokes Quotes

There aren't enough days in the weekend.

There aren't enough days in the weekend.

I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.

I xeroxed my watch. Now I have time to spare.

There aren't enough days in the weekend.

There aren't enough days in the weekend.

Is ired old cliche one?

Is ired old cliche one?

There aren't enough days in the weekend.

There aren't enough days in the weekend.

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in...

A Minneapolis company has come out with a credit card size shotgun that fits in...

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or...

The free-lance writer is the person who is paid per piece or per word or...

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

Kids. They're not easy. But there has to be some penalty for sex.

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for...

It's funny the way most people love the dead. Once you're dead, you're made for...

Age, I do abhor thee, youth, I do adore thee.

Age, I do abhor thee, youth, I do adore thee.

Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems,...

Monday is like a math problem. Add the irritation, subtract the sleep, multiply the problems,...

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any...

You moon the wrong person at an office party and suddenly you're not 'professional' any...

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown...

As a child, a library card takes you to exotic, faraway places. When you're grown...

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

The embarrassing thing is that the salad dressing is outgrossing my films.

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord,...

I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord,...

Youth has no age.

Youth has no age.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

The ability to quote is a serviceable substitute for wit.

Im too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I...

Im too shy to express my sexual needs except over the phone to people I...

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap...

We can't all be heroes because someone has to sit on the curb and clap...

The worst thing ever is making it through the work week only to be sick...

The worst thing ever is making it through the work week only to be sick...