Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.

Quote by George RKirkpatrick

Topics: Funny Quotes, Success Quotes

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

Remember that as a teenager you are at the last stage of your life when...

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Never fight an inanimate object.

Never fight an inanimate object.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm...

I believe that the Good Lord gave us a finite number of heartbeats and I'm...

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a...

We would all like to vote for the best man but he is never a...

There are only two seasons - winter and baseball.

There are only two seasons - winter and baseball.

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed...

Old age has a great sense of calm and freedom. When the passions have relaxed...

Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs,...

Run for office? No. I've slept with too many women, I've done too many drugs,...

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Instead of being presented with stereotypes by age, sex, color, class, or religion, children must...

Instead of being presented with stereotypes by age, sex, color, class, or religion, children must...

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people...

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up...

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up...

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

I don't pray because I don't want to bore God.

The execs don't care what color you are. They care about how much money you...

The execs don't care what color you are. They care about how much money you...

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted...

At the age of six I wanted to be a cook. At seven I wanted...

I never said most of the things I said.

I never said most of the things I said.

If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavors to live the...

If one advances confidently in the direction of one's dreams, and endeavors to live the...

Aim at nothing and you'll succeed

Aim at nothing and you'll succeed