Nature gave men two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Ever since then man's success or failure has been dependent on the one he used most.

Quote by George RKirkpatrick

Topics: Funny Quotes, Success Quotes

Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Black and Mexican jokes are all the same. Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.

Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see bird that had the...

Did you ever see an unhappy horse? Did you ever see bird that had the...

Probably the most dangerous and powerful industrialist of our age. [About Bill Gates]

Probably the most dangerous and powerful industrialist of our age. [About Bill Gates]

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

A woman knows she's wearing the right dress, when her man wants to take it...

What Youth deemed crystal, Age finds out was dew.

What Youth deemed crystal, Age finds out was dew.

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in...

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in...

If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good...

If you're in a bad situation, don't worry it'll change. If you're in a good...

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a bottle in front of me, than a frontal lobotomy.

This is an age in which one cannot find common sense without a search warrant.

This is an age in which one cannot find common sense without a search warrant.

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either.

Sex is hereditary. If your parents never had it, chances are you wont either.

When an illness knocks you on your ass, you should stay down and relax for...

When an illness knocks you on your ass, you should stay down and relax for...

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

Advice is like castor oil, easy to give, but dreadful to take.

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport...

I frankly felt like the reception we received on the way in from the airport...

In the middle ages, people took potions for their ailments. In the 19th century they...

In the middle ages, people took potions for their ailments. In the 19th century they...

One's age should be tranquil, as childhood should be playful. Hard work at either extremity...

One's age should be tranquil, as childhood should be playful. Hard work at either extremity...

Be in the habit of getting up bright and early on the weekends. Why waste...

Be in the habit of getting up bright and early on the weekends. Why waste...

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy...

The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy...

The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty.

The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty.

The goal of retirement is to live off your assets, not on them.

The goal of retirement is to live off your assets, not on them.