I never said most of the things I said.

Quote by Yogi Berra

Topics: Funny Quotes

I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question

I wish I had an answer to that, because I'm tired of answering that question

I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if...

I never blame myself when I'm not hitting. I just blame the bat and if...

I usually take a two hour nap from one to four

I usually take a two hour nap from one to four

You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.

You should always go to other people's funerals, otherwise, they won't come to yours.

You can't think and hit at the same time

You can't think and hit at the same time

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat...

You better cut the pizza in four pieces because I'm not hungry enough to eat...

If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.

If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.

Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it.

When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it.

Never answer an anonymous letter

Never answer an anonymous letter

I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like...

I'm not going to buy my kids an encyclopedia. Let them walk to school like...

All pitchers are liars or crybabies.

All pitchers are liars or crybabies.

You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours.

You should always go to other people's funerals; otherwise, they won't come to yours.

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.

It was impossible to get a conversation going, everybody was talking too much.

You can see a lot just by observing

You can see a lot just by observing

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

You better cut the pizza in four pieces, because I'm not hungry enough to eat...

You better cut the pizza in four pieces, because I'm not hungry enough to eat...

I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.

I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.

Baseball is ninety percent mental and the other half is physical.