I never said most of the things I said.

Quote by Yogi Berra

Topics: Funny Quotes

When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it.

When you arrive at a fork in the road, take it.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore.

Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

Even Napoleon had his Watergate.

It ain't the heat, it's the humility.

It ain't the heat, it's the humility.

It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much.

It was impossible to get a conversation going; everybody was talking too much.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.

If people don't want to come out to the ball park, nobody's gonna stop 'em.

I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.

I just want to thank everyone who made this day necessary.

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

If you don't know where you are going, you might wind up someplace else.

You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.

You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you.

We have deep depth.

We have deep depth.

If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them.

If the fans don't come out to the ball park, you can't stop them.

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

Slump? I ain't in no slump... I just ain't hitting.

Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical

Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

In theory there is no difference between theory and practice. In practice there is.

Glen Cove. [Referring to Glenn Close on a movie review television show]

Glen Cove. [Referring to Glenn Close on a movie review television show]

Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the...

Little League baseball is a very good thing because it keeps the parents off the...

And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that...

And he said unto them, Verily I say unto you, There is no man that...

But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will...

But know this, that in the last days perilous times will come: For men will...