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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on...

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When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on...

Always keep your beautiful imagination & exquisite humor

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Always keep your beautiful imagination & exquisite humor

Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.

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Say 'provoking' again. Your mouth looks provocative when you do.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

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Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.

Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let...

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Because you can't argue with all the fools in the world. It's easier to let...

I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want...

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I'm saying that I'm a moody, insecure, narrow-minded, jealous, borderline homicidal bitch, and I want...

You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

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You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.

“Begin at the beginning," the King said, very gravely, "and go on till you come...

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“Begin at the beginning,

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away

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Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away

Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.

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Wicked people never have time for reading. It's one of the reasons for their wickedness.

The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.

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The capacity for friendship is God's way of apologizing for our families.

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

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All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.

Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead

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Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead

Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But...

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Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But...

When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A...

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When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A...

Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad...

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Some people say, “Never let them see you cry.” I say, if you’re so mad...

Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

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Today was good. Today was fun. Tomorrow is another one.

Success - it's not always what you see

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Success - it's not always what you see

It takes hard work, resourcefulness, perseverance and courage to succeed.

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It takes hard work, resourcefulness, perseverance and courage to succeed.