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A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

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A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips

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In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

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Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

It doesn't matter how hard you work in the gym if you don't control what...

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It doesn't matter how hard you work in the gym if you don't control what...

Food tastes better when you eat it with your family.

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Food tastes better when you eat it with your family.

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

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I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would...

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If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would...

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

Eat a big breakfast, average lunch and tiny dinner.

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Eat a big breakfast, average lunch and tiny dinner.

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.

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After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.

The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

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The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

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Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone...

The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a...

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The story so far: In the beginning the Universe was created. This has made a...

Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

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Never let your sense of morals prevent you from doing what is right.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never...

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I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never...

Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

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Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.

Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.

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Time is a drug. Too much of it kills you.

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and...

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Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and...

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

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I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you...

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Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you...