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A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

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A woman is worried about the future until she gets a husband, while a man...

In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips

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In the cookies of life, sisters are the chocolate chips

Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

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Chocolate doesn't ask silly questions, chocolate understands.

The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

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The meal is not over when I'm full. The meal is over when I hate...

I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

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I love you like a fat kid loves cake!

I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

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I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life....

Eat a big breakfast, average lunch and tiny dinner.

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Eat a big breakfast, average lunch and tiny dinner.

Food tastes better when you eat it with your family.

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Food tastes better when you eat it with your family.

After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.

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After a good dinner one can forgive anybody, even one's own relations.

It doesn't matter how hard you work in the gym if you don't control what...

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It doesn't matter how hard you work in the gym if you don't control what...

If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would...

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If more of us valued food and cheer and song above hoarded gold, it would...

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

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I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.

Humor is reason gone mad.

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Humor is reason gone mad.

I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

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I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer

From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

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From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down, I convulsed...

Reality continues to ruin my life

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Reality continues to ruin my life

The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on...

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The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on...

Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying.

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Yes, frosting. The final defense of the dying.

What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

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What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce.

The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.

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The difference between genius and stupidity is; genius has its limits.