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I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep...

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I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep...

When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

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When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks...

My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

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My first instinct when I see an animal is to say hello My first instinct...

When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

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When I hired you I knew you were insane I will continue to try and...

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with...

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Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or play with...

You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

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You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.

Okay, we took off our clothes, I got on top of you.. How long 'til...

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Okay, we took off our clothes, I got on top of you.. How long 'til...

If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If...

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If a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If...

The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all...

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The idea behind the tuxedo is the woman's point of view that men are all...

It's funny how when I'm loud people tell me to be quiet but when I'm...

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It's funny how when I'm loud people tell me to be quiet but when I'm...

Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

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Golden rule: I do not buy dinner to get yes. Dinner's a very intimate activity....

Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better...

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Good sex is like good bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better...

I can always make you smile

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I can always make you smile

Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

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Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays...

Normal people scare me but not as much as I scare them.

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Normal people scare me but not as much as I scare them.

You never know what you have until you clean your room

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You never know what you have until you clean your room

The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

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The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits

The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

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The only reason I'm fat is because a tiny body couldn't store all this personality.

In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done,...

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In politics, If you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done,...

Men don't necessarily like to be forced into holding your hand and kissing you in...

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Men don't necessarily like to be forced into holding your hand and kissing you in...

Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the...

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Love is so confusing – you tell a girl she looks great and what’s the...

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the Top of the...

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Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the Top of the...