Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.

Quote by Joan Rivers

Topics: History Quotes

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

I'm Jewish. I don't work out. If God had wanted us to bend over, He...

It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.

It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.

He who limps is still walking.

He who limps is still walking.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

Forty for you, sixty for me. And equal partners we will be.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later...

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later...

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of...

I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of...

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience...

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

Boy George is all England needs - another queen who can't dress.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

Is she fat? Her favorite food is seconds

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your...

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without...

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my...

The most effective form of birth control I know is spending the day with my...

The commonest objection to birth control is that it is against nature.

The commonest objection to birth control is that it is against nature.