I have just returned from Boston. It is the only sane thing to do if you find yourself up there.

Quote by Fred Allen

Topics: Cities Quotes

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

I have just returned from Boston. It is the only thing to do if you...

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

A gentleman is any man who wouldn't hit a woman with his hat on.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

All that the comedian has to show for his years of work and aggravation is...

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

Television is called a medium because anything good on it is rare

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can...

A telescope will magnify a star a thousand times, but a good press agent can...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

It is probably not love that makes the world go around, but rather those mutually...

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

I don't want to own anything that won't fit into my coffin.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

An associate producer is the only guy in Hollywood who will associate with a producer.

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own...

The last time I saw him he was walking down lover's lane holding his own...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I don't have to look up my family tree, because I know that I'm the...

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

I'd rather have a full bottle in front of me than a full frontal lobotomy.

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

You can take all the sincerity in Hollywood, place it in the navel of a...

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.

I go from exasperation to a state of collapse, then I recover and go from...

I go from exasperation to a state of collapse, then I recover and go from...

If I were gay, life would be a lot simpler. I'm kind of annoyed that...

If I were gay, life would be a lot simpler. I'm kind of annoyed that...

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who...

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who...