If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Religion Quotes

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

A lot of people say to me, 'Why did you kill Christ?' I dunno, it...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like cats. Yell at a...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

Cashier: 'Have a nice day.' Me: 'Don't tell me what to do.'

Cashier: 'Have a nice day.' Me: 'Don't tell me what to do.'

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that...

One is a young, pockmarked wiseacre with a smirk that won't quit, the other an...

One is a young, pockmarked wiseacre with a smirk that won't quit, the other an...