If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little electric chairs around their necks instead of crosses.

Quote by Lenny Bruce

Topics: Religion Quotes

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

The only truly anonymous donor is the guy who knocks up your daughter.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Satire is tragedy plus time. You give it enough time, the public, the reviewers will...

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

Miami Beach is where neon goes to die.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

In the Halls of Justice the only justice is in the halls.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

There are never enough I Love You's.

There are never enough I Love You's.

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

I hate small towns because once you've seen the cannon in the park there's nothing...

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

Every day people are straying away from the church and going back to God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

I'll die young, but it's like kissing God.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

If you can take the hot lead enema, then you can cast the first stone.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

When you're eight years old nothing is your business.

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

The only honest art form is laughter, comedy. You can't fake it... try to fake...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

If Jesus had been killed twenty years ago, Catholic school children would be wearing little...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

All my humor is based upon destruction and despair. If the whole world were tranquil,...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

The role of a comedian is to make the audience laugh, at a minimum of...

Communism is like one big phone company.

Communism is like one big phone company.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

The liberals can understand everything but people who don't understand them.

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...

I won't say ours was a tough school, but we had our own coroner. We...