I'm not clumsy. It's just the floor hates me, the tables and chairs are bullies and the walls get in the way.

Topics: Clever Facebook Status Quotes, Silly Quotes

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

Oxymoron: When an astronaut feels under the weather.

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and...

Have you ever had a fly or small bug land on your computer screen and...

Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If i'm trusting you with my...

Why do banks lock their pens to the desk? If i'm trusting you with my...

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im...

I decided to cancel my Twitter account. I dont want to sound paranoid, but Im...

The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men...

The best time to look for a job is when you already have one. Men...

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that...

I was complimented on my driving today. Someone left a note on my windshield that...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

Facebook should make it to where it says, 'Went from being in a relationship' to...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

I feel like getting something done today, so Im just going to sit here until...

Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals...

Saying I don't take my meds because they make me feel funny. Is like cannibals...

If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never...

If a person who drinks too much is an alcoholic, then is someone who never...

You want to know someone who is amazing, beautiful and has the cutest smile ever?...

You want to know someone who is amazing, beautiful and has the cutest smile ever?...

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

To men, women are just city buses. There's another one every five minutes.

Never on schedule, but always on time.

Never on schedule, but always on time.

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Does anyone have that light switch in their house that they really don't know what...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Spent the entire night trying to create a website for women drivers, but it kept...

Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the...

Sometimes you have to make the right decision, and sometimes you have to make the...

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

I dont mind ketchup on my hot dog, as long as the bun is tight.

Me: 'I wanna go on a diet.' Food: 'LOL! No...'

Me: 'I wanna go on a diet.' Food: 'LOL! No...'

There's a certain part of the contented majority who love anybody who is worth a...

There's a certain part of the contented majority who love anybody who is worth a...

Love is like seaweed; even if you have pushed it away, you will not prevent...

Love is like seaweed; even if you have pushed it away, you will not prevent...