Hello........Cool i hope its a naked dude with a boner.

Quote by Nick Swardson

Topics: Nick Swardson Quotes

Good news from the party........Barry sucked on his first boobie!

Good news from the party........Barry sucked on his first boobie!

Ah, you smell like a winner. You smell like USA!

Ah, you smell like a winner. You smell like USA!

Ok... so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah,...

Ok... so who wants to hear about my STD from the silent film era? Yeah,...

I can't believe you came on my mom. You might be the biggest perv in...

I can't believe you came on my mom. You might be the biggest perv in...

My roommates said they'd get me rims for christmas. And a CB Radio so I...

My roommates said they'd get me rims for christmas. And a CB Radio so I...

You look great Jimmy. You look amazing and your hair rocks. You look so good,...

You look great Jimmy. You look amazing and your hair rocks. You look so good,...

Hey Samantha, don't take the red pill!

Hey Samantha, don't take the red pill!

Who wants to hear about my blowjob from the World War? Yeah...

Who wants to hear about my blowjob from the World War? Yeah...

So, i mean, what's it like being old? It's gotta be weird, right? I mean,...

So, i mean, what's it like being old? It's gotta be weird, right? I mean,...

Wassup, Silver Fox? Oh, I started a fight club.

Wassup, Silver Fox? Oh, I started a fight club.

Oh, and I'm still gonna kill you someday.

Oh, and I'm still gonna kill you someday.

Dude, we were just kidding JP. Don't be mad at us!

Dude, we were just kidding JP. Don't be mad at us!

Do you have bathrooms here, or do i have to shit in a plant?

Do you have bathrooms here, or do i have to shit in a plant?

Uh-oh? What does that mean? High score? Is that bad? Did I break it?

Uh-oh? What does that mean? High score? Is that bad? Did I break it?

I have to pee out of my ass.

I have to pee out of my ass.

Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a bush too - it's not grey.

Hi, I'm Jeff. I have a bush too - it's not grey.

That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so - you're dumb.

That's great Bobby, but we don't have Dance Dance Revolution, so - you're dumb.

Let's do it'The levels I mean, not sex.

Let's do it'The levels I mean, not sex.

Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!

Fruitcup? Nice....way to go mom!

I moved to the Ukraine. And it was cold, and everyone had guns, and smelled...

I moved to the Ukraine. And it was cold, and everyone had guns, and smelled...