Most of the time I'm thinking, I'm glad that scene was improvised.

Quote by Larry David

Topics: Larry David Quotes

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to...

Hear the birds? Sometimes I like to pretend that I'm deaf and I try to...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

In those days, reserve duty lasted for six years, which, I might add, was three...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

I was planning on my future as a homeless person. I had a really good...

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

I tell people that I've now done one decent thing in my life. Albeit inadvertently.

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

Switzerland is a place where they don't like to fight, so they get people to...

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

I learned the first night that IHOP's not the place to order fish.

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

It began to dawn on me that perhaps my country needed me more at home...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

I don't think anyone really is interested in reading about my emotional state. It's not...

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

Well, as you know, I'm really only happy when I'm on stage.

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that...

I've led this empty life for over forty years and now I can pass that...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

There's a sense of spontaneity, and no emphasis on jokes in this show. People generally...

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man...

Anyone can be confident with a full head of hair. But a confident bald man...

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline...

Millions of people are married. I've never picked up a paper and seen a headline...

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

When you're not concerned with succeeding, you can work with complete freedom.

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

When I was living in New York and didn't have a penny to my name,...

Drugs scared me.

Drugs scared me.

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

Sure, being a reservist wasn't as glamorous, but I was the one who had to...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I wanted to make a living, but I really was not interested in money at...

I just feed off the energy of the audience.

I just feed off the energy of the audience.