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What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds.

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

The only way you can beat the lawyers is to die with nothing.

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

The schools ain't what they used to be and never was.

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go...

The time to save is now. When a dog gets a bone, he doesn't go...

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

The United States never lost a war or won a conference.

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if...

The worst thing that happens to you may be the best thing for you if...

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who...

There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who...

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the...

There is nothing so stupid as the educated man if you get him off the...

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season...

There ought to be one day - just one - when there is open season...

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

There's only one thing that can kill the movies, and that's education.

Things ain't what they used to be and never were.

Things ain't what they used to be and never were.

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know...

This thing of being a hero, about the main thing to it is to know...

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud...

We can't all be heroes, because somebody has to sit on the curb and applaud...

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and...

We don't seem to be able to check crime, so why not legalize it and...

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

You've got to go out on a limb sometimes because that's where the fruit is.

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of...

We will never have true civilization until we have learned to recognize the rights of...

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.

Worrying is like paying on a debt that may never come due.