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If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest...
#Fran Lebowitz
If you are truly serious abut preparing your child for the future, don't teach him...
#Fran Lebowitz
The conversational overachiever is someone whose grasp exceeds his reach. This is possible but not...
#Fran Lebowitz
The opposite of talking isn't listening. The opposite of talking is waiting.
#Fran Lebowitz
To put it rather bluntly, I am not the type who wants to go back...
#Fran Lebowitz
Vegetables are interesting but lack a sense of purpose when unaccompanied by a good cut...
#Fran Lebowitz
When you leave New York, you are astonished at how clean the rest of the...
#Fran Lebowitz
You can't go around hoping that most people have sterling moral characters. The most you...
#Fran Lebowitz
Your life story would not make a good book. Don't even try.
#Fran Lebowitz
Having been unpopular in high school is not just cause for book publications.
#Fran Lebowitz
Humility is no substitute for a good personality.
#Fran Lebowitz
I figure you have the same chance of winning the lottery whether you play or...
#Fran Lebowitz
Radio news is bearable. This is due to the fact that while the news is...
#Fran Lebowitz
Remember that as a teenager you are in the last stage of your life when...
#Fran Lebowitz
Scientists - the crowd that for dash and style make the general public look like...
#Fran Lebowitz
Stand firm in your refusal to remain conscious during algebra. In real life, I assure...
#Fran Lebowitz
Success didn't spoil me, I've always been insufferable.
#Fran Lebowitz
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