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I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

I'm in show business... I want to hang out with Janet Jackson, not Jesse Jackson.

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells...

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells...

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look...

Right now, my job is that I'm like an ambulance chaser. I've got to look...

School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.

School shootings were invented by blacks... and stolen by the white man.

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of...

Black people dominate sports in the United States. 20% of the population and 90% of...

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He...

Charlie Brown is the one person I identify with. C.B. is such a loser. He...

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the...

Every town has the same two malls: the one white people go to and the...

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can...

Everyone has favorite criminals. Mine are pimps. We can all rob a bank; we can...

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

Gay people got a right to be as miserable as everybody else.

George Bush hates midgets.

George Bush hates midgets.

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because...

Gun control? We need bullet control! I think every bullet should cost 5,000 dollars. Because...

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

I live in a neighborhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.

A man is only as faithful as his options.

A man is only as faithful as his options.

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

A white boy that makes C's in college can make it to the White House.

Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.

Welcome to the 77th and last Oscars.

Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher...

Who's judging American Idol? Paula Abdul? Paula Abdul judging a singing contest is like Christopher...

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?

Yeah, I love being famous. It's almost like being white, y'know?