You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

Quote by Tommy Cooper

Topics: Driving Quotes, Funny Quotes

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the...

Last night I dreamt I ate a ten pound marshmallow. When I woke up the...

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and...

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and...

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...

A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the Dog...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note...

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside...

So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside...

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the...

Last night I dreamed I ate a ten-pound marshmallow, and when I woke up the...

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and...

I inherited a painting and a violin which turned out to be a Rembrandt and...

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Can you...

So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me Can you...

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage...

Well, my wife and I were married in a toilet - it was a marriage...

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking...

And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down, and people were chucking...

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks....

Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks....

Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...

Cos it's strange, isn't it. You stand in the middle of a library and go...

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

I went window shopping today! I bought four windows.

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs...

He said 'I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs...

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke...

I had a dream last night, I was eating a ten pound marshmallow. I woke...

I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.

I slept like a log last night. I woke up in the fireplace.

Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors.

Democracy becomes a government of bullies tempered by editors.

Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?

Wal-mart... do they like make walls there?

Age: that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still...

Age: that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still...

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...

My apartment was robbed and everything was replaced with exact replicas...I told my roommate and...