You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to you. Dogs just want to please. Call to a cat and its attitude is, 'What's in it for me?'

Quote by Lewis Grizzard

Topics: Lewis Grizzard Quotes

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems,...

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems,...

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never...

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never...

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying...

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying...

I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like...

I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like...

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never...

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never...

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never...

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never...