I don't think I'll get married again. I'll just find a woman I don't like and give her a house.

Quote by Lewis Grizzard

Topics: Lewis Grizzard Quotes

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

It's difficult to think anything but pleasant thoughts while eating a homegrown tomato.

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying...

The public, more often than not, will forgive mistakes, but it will not forgive trying...

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to...

You call to a dog and a dog will break its neck to get to...

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never...

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never...

If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

Sex hasn't been the same since women started enjoying it.

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems,...

The game of life is a lot like football. You have to tackle your problems,...

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never...

Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never...

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never...

I grew up in a very large family in a very small house. I never...